YOU NEVER TEXT BACK !!! YOU ARE A SNUB !!!

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"I'm always the one texting you and you never text back!!!"

Another thing I have to deal with. At least 5 people have told me this and I'm expecting more to tell me.

Some people complain that I never reply to their messages.
Some say that I'm too proud while some say I'm too rude.
Lmao... only if they knew & understood what goes on in my head.

Ever since I lost my mum, I have never been online for up to an hour. Max is 30 minutes. I'm actually always busy.
I am busy working on my lil business
I am busy doing things to take my mind off my trauma.
I am busy healing
I am busy working on my mental health
... but do they understand, NO

They are quick to jump into the conclusion that I'm a snub.
...do I blame them?, NO
... do I care?, NO

They fail to understand that anytime I come online, especially on Instagram, I am likely to see at least 2 posts of people celebrating their mothers or posts just about mothers and it hurts knowing that my mum isn't alive to be celebrated. She just remains in our hearts, memories and prayers🥀

The other day I managed to be online & I was looking at status updates on WhatsApp and guess what I saw. A post saying
"If your mum is still alive in 2020, congratulations"

I don't know how that was supposed to make me feel but I was emotionally broken and I was sad in every way possible.
... I felt I was being shaded by the poster but the person probably had nothing bad in mind.
I just went offline to calm down.

These are some of the reasons why I am hardly online. Same reason I started my YouTube channel @ veehTUBE
I started this channel cause I saw and felt my social life dying and I needed something to bring it back and keep me online.

I needed a reason to be socially active and that was the only solution I had that didn't require me to actually text people cause texting has just become a hard activity for me and if you know me quite well, you'll realise that I'd rather send a voicenote than actually text.

Calls are not even among cause the thought alone gives me anxiety {click here to find out why🙂}

In summary, I've started to live in all these motivational quotes.
As funny as it sounds, the only reason I come online is to do research. Research on either good business ideas on how to make my business grow or a new topic for my YouTube channel.
I can feel my social life getting like 0.01% spark back and when I say I am trying, Trust me, I really am.

If there is really anything I hate, it is having to explain myself constantly to people especially those I call my friends... lmao now they've been moved to "audience".

I really wish people would see things from my perspective.
I mean... your friend/someone you're getting to know has been inactive and comd lately and instead of you to ask about their mental health, what is wrong or why the sudden change, YOU will jump into conclusions and probably cut them off🤦🏾‍♀️

I usually ask people about their mental health and when I do, they find the question weird .
Like fam... I care about these things because sometimes, I know my mental health be acting funny.

I must not actually text you every single day before we're good friends. But when I'm off for a while and I come back online to reply to messages, some people act like we're beefing😹 and that is a story for another blog post💀

I am Vanessa Anagwu and this is my life🦋